


Fantasy Stargate Joke

by Debi_C



Category: Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1, The Dresden Files - Jim Butcher
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bad Jokes, Crack, Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-09
Updated: 2014-03-17
Packaged: 2018-01-15 02:33:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1288015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Debi_C/pseuds/Debi_C
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This started as a Facebook game of ID your fantasy animal.</p>
<p> It's all Amy's and Sallye's fault.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

A dragon, a unicorn and a centaur walked into a bar. The barman looked up and smiled. "Can I help you gents?"

The centaur ordered them all a drink, then looked at Harry Dresden the bartender and asked. "We're looking for the Stargate. Do you know where it is?"

Dresden waved his hands and the drinks appeared. "No, man. Never heard of it."

The dragon frowned into his too small mug. "How about Earth or Atlantis?"

"Nope."

"Daniel Jackson?"

"Never heard of him either."

The unicorn looks at both of them. "John, Jack. We are so screwed."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bad joke continues

A Satedan, an Athosian and an Earther walkes into a bar.

Dresden looks at Mouse as he sees them come in then greets his guests. "Hi, what can I get you?"

The tall dreadlocked Satedan looks at him and replies. "Three ales and some information."

"Okay on the ales, I'll try on the info."

The petite Athosian smiled at him. "Thank you. We are looking for some friends of ours and though they might have come here. They were three Earthers."

"What do they look like?" 

The Earther who was wearing wire that held pieces of glass in front of his eyes, replied. "Two of them are tall and slender, one with grey hair the other with black, the third man was middle height and had brown hair."

"Nope no one like that." Dresden replied. "But I did have a blue and grey dragon, a centaur with wild black hair and a brownish unicorn with blue eyes come in. They wanted info too."

"What did they want to know?" The tiny woman asked. 

"Let's see, where is the Stargate, where Earth and Atlantis is from here and if I knew a Danyel Jaksom."

The three travelers looked at him in an unhappy manner. "Did you tell them?" the big Satedan glowered at him.

"No, I don't even know what a stargate is, much less how to get to either of those places. And I sure as hell don't know a Danyel Jaksom."

The Earther looked unhappy. "I told them not to go anywhere without one of us."

The Athosian nodded gravely. "Human men are so stubborn."

The Satedan frowned. "They are so screwed."


	3. Chapter 3

As Dresden watched the three humans discuss what they were going to do next he cleared his throat to get their attention. "So, what is this Stargate? And who is Danyel Jaksom?"

The human with glasses looked at him with a smile. "I'm Daniel Jackson. I'm an Archaeologist by education but I guess you could say I've learned a lot more in my travels." He shrugged. "As for the Stargate its known by many names such as the Door to the Stars, the Eye of God, the Oculous...."

"The Oculous? I know that one. It's just down the road." The tall dark haired bartender retorted. "You mean I can get back to Earth with it?"

"I you know the proper sequence of symbols to press on the stump you can." the Satedan replied. "It's a long journey and takes lots of energy but they do it all the time now."

The Athosian woman smiled. "Atlantis is a lot easier."

Jackson looked at him curiously. "You're from Earth? Why didn't you help them?"

"Yeah, I'm Harry Dresden. I'm a magician and, well, a lot of other things but I'm stuck here too. My dog and I were traveling through the never never to try to get to China to talk to a dragon there but when I came through the portal I was here." their earstwhile bartender shook his head disparagengly. "I hate it when that happens." He looked at the three friends. "It would have helped if they would have been more clear with what they wanted, needed and who they were. If I would have know they were ensorceled I could have at least put them in their correct forms. Who are they anyway?"

The Earther smiled. "They are General Jack O'Neill, Colonel John Sheppard and Rodney McKay."

"Oh, those guys? I've heard of them, why didn't they just say so?"


	4. Chapter 4

The magician (and his very large dog), the archaeologist, the warrior and the leader of her people left the bar behind.

They traveled down the road and when they turned a corner there sat a dragon, a centaur and a unicorn. Upon seeing each other the three seekers happily joined the mythical creatures.

"About time you showed up." Jack the magic dragon puffed smoke out of his nostrils.

"Yeah, we need to get returned to our natural shapes so we can get back to Atlantis." Rodney the unicorn awkwardly scratched behind his ear with a back hoof. "I think I'm allergic to grass."

"You didn't have to eat it." John the centaur commented as he helpfully scratched Rodney's other ear. 

"I was hungry." the horned equine returned. "I have to watch my hypoglycemia, you know."

"You might not even have it in this body." Jack shook his head and snorted more smoke. "Hell, you might not even be allergic."

Dresden looked at the ensorcelled trio. "Are they always like this?"

"Pretty much." Ronon answered.

The magician waved his hands and the three were returned to their human forms. "There. And there's no place like home. Can we go now?"

The seven humans (and the very large dog) continued on to the Stargate for a quick to Atlantis.

**Author's Note:**

> It was a joke bunny, I hope its a funny bunny.


End file.
